What is it like being older parents?

We are older parents and wish we were younger – doesn’t everybody? It did hurt when I was buying a bottle of wine recently and the shop assistant said to the boys  “I just need to check Gransha is old enough”. The boys didn’t say anything but laughed later – not as much as my wife but she has had her fair share of being called Nan. 

On a good day, I get called uncle and some people actually believe we are the parents. I reassure my wife that we are actually old enough to be grandparents so it’s not that insulting. 

Some people look really embarrassed when corrected – I remember one Santa turn an even louder shade of red. 

Perhaps people should not assume. They do not see the years of trying or we could have adopted or fostered. Or we could be just be ravaged by the stress of having double trouble.

I have seen some quite opinionated posts on social media when a celebrity announces an expected birth at a later age. Its cruel that the kids will lose their parents at a young age! Etc. 

However there are benefits.

1. Relative financial security – we have quite a nice house with a big garden which has been much enjoyed during lockdown. It would have been quite a squeeze in our previous 2 bedroom house. 
2. At the end of our careers. We don’t need to put our careers first – I am due to partially retire this year and can devote much more time to the boys. A few years ago I would have have been working long hours chasing the dream. I didn’t realise that this was the dream. 
3. We really appreciate being parents as we thought it may never happen. Younger parents although absolutely loving their children may have feel that their social lives are being restricted. We also know that every minute counts 
4. We have seen the world and are just as happy holidaying in a caravan in the UK as we were in 5 star resorts in the Far East. Just as well during lockdown and the immediate future. We don’t feel that we are missing out on something. 
5. Stable relationship – we have been happily married for many years and have faced problems together over the years and know each other’s strengths and weaknesses. We are taking that stability into raising children – the extra life experience enables us to face whatever parenthood throws at us. 
6. The twins may live longer. I am not scientifically minded but according to a 2012 Harvard University study https://www.pnas.org/content/109/26/10251.abstract the telomeres or the tips of chromosomes that protect DNA may be longer in offspring of older fathers. Apparently that could lead to two generations of children living longer. 
7. The children keep us young. Yes we have a few lines – more since they appeared. However we have no choice but to chase that football hurtling towards the sea or to build sandcastles when otherwise we would be sat in a pub reading a newspaper. 
8. We are now part of our community whereas before we kept to ourselves.